Steve Grogan is an ongoing contributor to Writer to Writers. He has published several short stories on the site, which can be found on the main page under the heading “Steve Grogan’s Fiction.” He has had several poems and short stories published over the years, some of which are available on Amazon. (See the announcement at the end of this post.)
He is the writer and creator of the ongoing, zombie, post-apocalyptic, Romero-meets-Dungeons-and-Dragons webcomic REDemption. Alternatively, Steve describes the comic by saying, “It is to zombie fiction what KILL BILL was to kung fu movies: everything I love about the genre housed under one roof and mixed with my voice.”
November 4, 2008
Time 7:43AM, Mood Anxious, Size 5” (length), normal girth
When I woke up this morning, I went straight for my phone and called every window replacement company I could. Magnificently, they were all booked for the next week. The earliest any of them could come over was the following weekend. Unperturbed, I kept going down the list of businesses that I found via Google. By the time I got to the tenth business, I was ready to snap. When business #10 said they were booked for the next ten days, that’s exactly what I did.
“Listen, goddammit, I need this window replaced before the week is out or I’m going to get evicted,” I said. “So I suggest you find an opening in your schedule now.”
“Your eviction ain’t my problem, pal,” the man on the phone said.
“It will be your problem if I have to come down there,” I growled. “You’re talking like a brave man and you don’t even know who you’re fucking with.”
The anger in my voice must have been more convincing than I thought. I heard him tapping away at a keyboard for a couple seconds.
“I can have a guy there tomorrow around 9AM,” he said.
I rattled off my address and hung up without even saying thanks. Now all I have to worry about is what size my cock will be in the morning.
November 5, 2008
Time 7:37AM, Mood Drowsy, Size 7” (length), 7” (girth)
This is the size I have to face today. Not the best one I could hope for, but certainly not the worst. All I have to do is go bare from the waist down and wear a bathrobe so it wouldn’t be uncomfortably restrained.
One thing I have going for me: it was a restless, virtually sleepless night. If there is one thing in life I have never been able to do, it was to feel horny and fatigued at the same time. In other words, barring any other kind of stimulation, it’s not like I run the risk of getting hard when the repairman shows up.
Speaking of that, he is due at 9AM. In my experience, it is very rare for people in that sort of profession to be punctual. Still, I should start getting ready now just in case this man is the exception to the rule.
Surprisingly, the window repairman arrived on time. I showed him where to go and then waited in my room. This was a precaution, just in case my penis decided to get longer while he was still there.
It did, shrinking in girth but extending in length. I peeked out of my room to make sure the repairman wasn’t looking my way. Then I made a mad dash for the bathroom and started to fake puking noises. Seconds later I heard a knock on the door.
“You okay, man?” the repairman asked.
I opened the door just a crack and said, “I better stay in here a while.”
“Okay. Well, I’m done,” he informed me. “I don’t mean to bother you, but I have to get paid so I can go on to my next job.”
“My checkbook is on the dining room table. Could you bring it to me, along with a pen?” I asked. “I don’t want to risk going out there right now.”
The repairman came back in a few seconds with the requested items. He quoted the total charge, and I wrote out the check. Using a nod as his way of saying “thank you,” the repairman took his payment.
“I hope you don’t mind seeing yourself out,” I said.
I darted back to the toilet and made retching sounds again. If he had been clever, then he would have picked up on the fact that he heard vomiting noises but didn’t also hear puke hitting the water. Then again, there’s always the possibility that he did realize it, but didn’t care to investigate it. After all, he was on the job.
A few minutes passed. I leaned out of the bathroom cautiously to make sure he was gone. Indeed, he was.
Shrugging off my robe, I came out to the living room and sat naked on the couch. As I stared at the ground, my penis retracted to normal length. Suddenly it hit me that, despite all the years of having this curse, I had never actually seen it change shape. It was bizarre watching it melt away like that.
As it dwindled, it reminded me of what was happening to my ability to tolerate this shut-in lifestyle.
November 6, 2008
Time 6:43PM, Mood Satisfied, Size Normal
I forgot Bob had given me a deadline to get the window repaired. The only thing that reminded was that he called tonight.
When I answered, all he said was, “It’s Bob.”
I said, “Hi, Bob.”
There was a long pause. Eventually he took the initiative and spoke up, but he said only one word: “Well?”
“Well what?” I said.
He exploded on me then.
“You know, for being an IT guy you sure are stupid. The window, you moron. Did you get it fixed?”
“Oh,” I said dully. “Yes, yesterday.”
“And why didn’t you call to tell me this?” he asked.
Before I realized what I was doing, the following sentence popped out of my mouth: “I figured if you were curious enough to find out, you’d call me.”
In conversations, sometimes you have moments of silence. Other times you have moments like the one that followed my last words there. Moments where you can hear the electricity of the gathering storm.
“You disrespectful bastard. I want you out of my building,” Bob growled.
“On what grounds?” I asked.
“Destruction of property,” he replied.
I laughed. “First, that was an accident. Second, I paid for the repairs. If you want me out based on that, then all I can say is I’ll see your ass in court.”
With that I hung up on him. The phone rang again. And again. Eventually I unplugged it and sat there enjoying not only the silence, but also basking in the glow of a little revelation I’d had about the size curse. Yes, it had made life almost unlivable. It made me a shut-in: unable to drive a car, go on a date, or even shop for groceries in person. However, it has had at least one positive effect on my life: it has obliterated my tendency to tolerate any form of bullying. Long gone were the days of me cowering in a corner, curling up into a ball and hoping the big meanie would leave me alone. Now if someone tried to step on my face, you could guarantee I’d bite their foot off.
I don’t think I’ve ever felt better in my life.
November 7, 2008
Time 1:00PM, Mood Horny, Size 1” (length), 3” (girth)
The bootylicious Beyonce. The spicy Shakira. The revamped Britney Spears. The bee-stung lips of Angelina Jolie. The crystal blue eyes of Jennifer Connelly. The raven black hair of Jill Hennessey. The olive-skinned Angie Harmon. The head-to-toe sexiness of Mariska Hargitay. The blond beauty of Elisabeth Rohm. (I’m a sucker for those Law and Order girls.) The everlasting legs of Stacy Kiebler. The classic beauty of Raquel Welch. The timeless appeal of Bo Derek. The curvaceous figure and instantly likeable personality of Queen Latifah. (I don’t care how much she weighs. That woman is fine.) The eternal duel between Jessica Alba and Jessica Simpson. (Personally I would pick Alba, but you’d be a fool to turn down Simpson.) The legendary slow-motion reveal of Phoebe Cates. The downstairs shot of some retro bush on Eva Mendes (courtesy of the movie Training Day). The husky voice and beautiful face of Emma Stone. The versatility of Alexandra Breckenridge, who can pull off cute and sweet or sexy and seductive. The tough as nails, butt-kicking Michelle Yeoh.
I’d love to give it to every one of these women. And I bet there will be a day when my cock could grow long enough to do them all at once!
November 8, 2008
Time 12:02 PM, Mood Puzzled, Size 20” (length), 8” (girth)
I plugged my phone in for the first time in days. To my surprise, Bob has not called once. Guess our last conversation set everything straight.
Something just came to mind. It’s a question that I somehow never thought to ask regarding this condition up until now:
Where does all the extra skin come from?
November 9, 2008
Time 2:02PM, Mood Irritable, Size 6” (length and girth)
I don’t want to rely on this journal to pass the time anymore. These days I’d rather be outside driving, walking, shoveling snow. Anything would be better than being stuck here! I don’t want to write, so fuck you. Fuck you and your demands of me. Yes, I am speaking to YOU, blank pages of this journal. What do you want from me? Why do you torment me, humiliate me, degrade me? You mock me with your emptiness. I hear your laughter, because you don’t MIND if the rest of your life is empty, but I do.
Something must change, or I’m going to snap. And when I do, I don’t know what that’s going to look like.
November 10, 2008
Time 1:44AM, Mood Depressed, Size 3’ (length), 6” (girth)
What the hell can I do to make this existence seem less monotonous? It’s like I’m trapped in a living, breathing nightmare.
Before this size curse came along, I never would have thought boredom could drive you insane. Up until I became an involuntary recluse, boredom just seemed (for lack of a better term) boring, but now I know why people go crazy and eat their companions when they get snowed in somewhere.
Good old cabin fever. God help me, but I wish there were other people here for me to kill and eat. At least it would give me something to do!
Think about it. If my companions were all around my age, then they would put up one hell of a fight. Then I would have to carve up their bodies, peeling off and scooping out the most edible parts. After that it would be time to figure out how to prepare my food, not to mention how to store the ones that I would have to eat later. At long last it would be meal time. Man, that whole ordeal could probably help pass at least three or four days. Now if only it could come true!
If you like what you have read and would like to purchase this serialized novel as one complete PDF, then please send $3.50 to Steve via PayPal: firstname.lastname@example.org
Also, don’t forget to check out his other writing at the following links below:
Author: Redemption Comics
Steve Grogan was born in the often-filmed city of Troy, NY. He has written in a variety of formats (novels, short stories, poems, screen and stage plays, blogs/articles) and genres (horror, science fiction, fantasy, mystery, drama).
Steve is also a father, a boyfriend, a musician, a fitness fanatic, and a martial artist. He has been studying Wing Chun Kung Fu since 1995, and he maintains a blog/YouTube channel that describe his training habits, epiphanies, and advancement. It also candidly discusses his stumbling blocks, such as his struggle with nutrition and mental health issues.
He is no relation to the New England Patriots quarterback from the 1980’s.