The Size Curse – Novel by Steve Grogan – October 22 to 25, 2008

the size curse

Steve Grogan is an ongoing contributor to Writer to Writers. He has published several short stories on the site, which can be found on the main page under the heading “Steve Grogan’s Fiction.” He has had several poems and short stories published over the years, some of which are available on Amazon. (See the announcement at the end of this post.)

He is the writer and creator of the ongoing, zombie, post-apocalyptic, Romero-meets-Dungeons-and-Dragons webcomic REDemption. Alternatively, Steve describes the comic by saying, “It is to zombie fiction what KILL BILL was to kung fu movies: everything I love about the genre housed under one roof and mixed with my voice.”


October 22, 2008

Got an email this morning from someone I nearly forgot about: Dan Herrick, the new guy at work that I had just sent happy birthday wishes to. In our last interaction, he’d said he heard a lot about me, and I replied that he should ignore it unless it was all good. Today he wrote back:

Hey man, I wouldn’t say that what I heard was good or bad, just that they wished you’d hang out more. You always turn down invitations to go anywhere.

This much was indeed indisputable truth. It was also true that I turned them down for a good reason, but none of them knew that. At least it was good to hear my absence from these gatherings bummed my coworkers out.

The more I thought about it, the more curious I became as to when Dan heard this about me. I wrote back and asked him. His reply:

When we went to the Dragon Buffet last Friday.

Dragon Buffet? I didn’t remember getting an email invitation for that one. A quick scan of old emails revealed that, as I had suspected, no one had asked me to go there. Once again I wrote to Dan:

Hey, I never got an invite for that!

His reply shook me up a bit, as it wasn’t the answer I was expecting:

Well, you shouldn’t be surprised by that. After saying “no” for so long, people are bound to stop sending you invitations to things.

Damn, had I been that bad? Yes, of course I had. Every time they asked me to go somewhere, I had to say no because of the curse. I had come up with some pretty lame excuses too. There were the three that I discussed in some detail in these pages here (doctor’s appointment, stayed home sick, family coming in from out of town), and I can think of at least seven that occurred before I started this journal. If I pause here, I bet I can recall them all.

Dear friends, how do I reject thee?

Let me count the ways:

  1. nauseous
  2. job interview
  3. headache
  4. athlete’s foot
  5. waiting for the plumber
  6. waiting for UPS to delivery something I had to sign for
  7. waiting for the electrician (kind of recycled number five there)

That’s all I can remember off the top of my head. There were more. Lots more. Tons more, even. In other words, Dan was right. I shouldn’t have been shocked that they stopped asking me to go places with them. By now they knew I was the guy who always said no, so why bother?

It wasn’t this news in and of itself that disturbed me. What threw me for a loop was the connection I drew between this recent development and my distant past which, given my revelation, turned out to be not so distant after all.

I thought of my childhood years and my mother’s demonic rants. Thought of how she did her best to keep me so afraid of the rest of the world that I wouldn’t dare go outside. She wanted me to remain isolated from everyone and everything. During college, I finally broke free of her control. Just about every day I went out, made friends, and had myself a good old time Now, years later, I come to find out I didn’t escape her tyranny after all. Here I am, alone in my apartment, turning down my coworkers, voluntarily isolating myself from them. This boy sure has done momma proud. That woman would be in her glory if she knew I was still hiding out in my home like the scared little animal she had always wanted me to be, which is why I’m glad she has no way of contacting me or knowing where I am.

So this is it. How many years did I fight to shake my life free of the effects of that woman’s madness, only to find out I’m still under her rule? This turns the last decade of my life into a total waste.

Well, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that happen. From this day forward, I’m dedicating my life and the pages of this journal to figuring out a pattern to the size curse. I’m going to start noting the time of day, mood I am in, and the size of my penis. (Side note: as of this writing, it’s normal length.)

I’m going to break free of my fear and give myself the ability to go outside again. There’s no way this bitch is going to control me for the rest of my life, especially when she’s not even in it!


October 23, 2008

Time 10:15AM, Mood Drowsy, Size Normal length and girth

Even though I am the only one who will see this journal, I’m not going to write down the measurements when my penis is at its natural size. It’s too embarrassing. In that respect, you could say I’m like a woman who won’t give out her dress size.

October 22. Nine days away from what used to be my favorite day of the year. There is no way to escape the reminders that it’s on its way. All the channels showing horror movies. Advertisements for The Costumer, not to mention the numerous haunted hayrides and corn mazes. Even companies like McDonald’s release “scary” commercials for this time of year. And here I sit with a shape shifting dong, unable to go outside and enjoy any of it. (Maybe I could get away with saying my expanding/contracting cock is just a very realistic, expensive, fancy costume? No, I doubt that would work. I would get arrested for indecent exposure.)

While I’m thinking horror movies, I just wanted to state here that AMC will be playing three of them tomorrow night. Each one will be by a different master of the genre: John Carpenter, David Cronenberg, and George Romero. The only master they left out was Dario Argento. If only they could have included one by him! However, that will never happen because Argento has little more than a cult following here in America.

Still, the lineup they have is a pretty damn good one. I know I’ll be watching.

October 24, 2008

Time 10:49PM, Mood Excited, Size 8.2” (length), 3.6” (girth)

My cock expanded about halfway through the second movie. I’m writing this entry about an hour after that happened. As for my mood, I was excited about the horror movie marathon. That doesn’t equate to excited in a sexual way. So why did I experience a growth spurt? This analysis might be more of a pain in the ass than I thought.

I was surprised by the choice AMC made for the Romero movie they showed: they picked The Crazies instead of one of the Dead movies. Maybe they made this selection because the movie is supposed to be remade soon, and they wanted people to see how good the original is before the remake screws it all up.

For Carpenter and Cronenberg, the selections were Halloween and The Fly, respectively. No surprises there. Still, classics are classics for a reason, and I watched both movies as if it were my first time seeing them.

October 25, 2008

Time 5:47PM, Mood Bored, Size Ken Doll crotch

I have to sit down to pee again. I hate that.

After the three movies ended last night, I kept thinking about how Argento would never be shown on American television. Eventually it inspired me to break out all the movies of his that I own and watch them in one marathon sitting.

Like I said before, Argento is only a cult item here in America. That’s a tragedy because even one minute of his worst movie is more imaginative than all the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street sequels/knockoffs combined. Americans eat up that crap but reject Argento flicks. I guess that shows what Americans think about intelligent filmmaking. In fact, America seems to be anti-intellectual when it comes to everything these days, but that’s a discussion for some other time.

Once I finished the Argento marathon, I flipped to AMC to see what they were showing. To my surprise, it was a rare 80s cult worship movie called The Believers. I saw the movie many years ago and loved it. In my opinion it was well-plotted, well-acted, and invoked a sense of dread; viewers never knew who was going to die, when, or how. THAT is the mark of a good horror movie. Over the years I would mention it to people, and I was surprised to find out hardly anyone knew of it or had seen it.

However, my reason for bringing it up has nothing to do with its popularity.

I mention it because it gave me an idea.

The movie concerns a religion called Santeria, and there is mumbo jumbo about various rituals and curses. However, aside from the curses, they also have PROTECTION spells and ceremonies.


As in the size curse.

Protection magic.

I know this is the real world and not some kooky movie directed by John Schlesinger, but is it worth a shot? Should I consider it?

The answer? Absolutely. What else can I do about this awful situation? I have no other ideas. Other than notating my time, mood, and shape/size, I’ve thought of nothing else that could wake me from this nightmare.

The only thing is, I have no idea how to search for someone who might be into this sort of stuff. I live in Troy, NY, an area that is not exactly known for being culturally diverse. In my high school, there were probably five Hispanic kids and three Asian students. Everyone else was white or black. If there is no one nearby, then I’m going to have to broaden my search diameter. Then again, I don’t have a car anymore, so I can’t go anywhere too far away. Otherwise I’d have to ask someone for a ride or take a Greyhound bus, and those options are out because of the size curse.

Isn’t it ironic? The one thing that keeps me from getting help is the same reason I would have to travel to get the help in the first fucking place!

Well, I’m too exhausted to figure out an answer to this tonight, but without a doubt it will be the first damn thing I tend to tomorrow.


If you like what you have read and would like to purchase this serialized novel as one complete PDF, then please send $3.50 to Steve via PayPal:

Also, don’t forget to check out his other writing at the following links below:


Steve’s Amazon Author Page

Steve’s Writer to Writers Publications

Author: Redemption Comics

Steve Grogan was born in the often-filmed city of Troy, NY. He has written in a variety of formats (novels, short stories, poems, screen and stage plays, blogs/articles) and genres (horror, science fiction, fantasy, mystery, drama).

Steve is also a father, a boyfriend, a musician, a fitness fanatic, and a martial artist. He has been studying Wing Chun Kung Fu since 1995, and he maintains a blog/YouTube channel that describe his training habits, epiphanies, and advancement. It also candidly discusses his stumbling blocks, such as his struggle with nutrition and mental health issues.

He is no relation to the New England Patriots quarterback from the 1980’s.

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